It’s time I come clean about my life and spill the beans on the huge life decision I made for myself last month. My life has been growing at a rapid pace, as a result much has happened and I am still trying to process it all. Number one, and the biggest life change is this, after spending all summer contemplating the next steps I want to take for my future and evaluating the path I was on, I realized getting a Masters degree in Human Rights no longer aligned with my life’s purpose. I thought I could find a way to merge this degree with my music/art and be able to create a path from this that would help serve humanity in a positive way as well as point me in a direction of financial security, which I have rarely known in my life. When I originally applied to the Humphrey School of Public Affairs at the University of Minnesota, I saw I could focus my degree on “Arts and Humanities”, but after spending countless hours my first year of school, searching for classes to support this path I continuously came up empty. Though I did find a couple classes, not enough to support the amount of credits I would need to make it a focus, nor did it support my artistic dreams of using my art to inspire positive change in the world. I simply could not justify spending another year and over $20,000 on a degree that was only taking me away from the artistic life I have dreamed of, not closer to it.
For an entire year, I put off music to fully commit myself to schooling. I was 100% into my academic career as I was completely committed to getting a Master of Human Rights degree. I even put off my wedding date till after I would have graduated, so that I could be that focused on my schooling. And even though I was struggling finding classes that spoke to my artistic side, I was loving everything I was learning, and all the brilliant people I was being exposed to on a daily basis. It was easy to get wrapped up into the hopes and dreams of what higher education promises! I was even strongly considering leaving my music career completely to focus on getting a job at United Nations, or Human Rights Watch. Humphrey School is that great of a school where a job like that could be in the cards for anyone who graduates from there with a Master of Human Rights. I was so immersed in school that I was allowing it to alter my dreams and reality to fit what it was promising to offer me.
Everything changed over the summer. I’m not sure where it all began…perhaps it had to do with a class I was taking during the spring where I learned a great deal about work life balance, as well as myself. One of the projects assigned in that class asked us to reach out to anyone in our life past and/or present, to see if they would be willing to share a moment when they may have seen me thriving in life. The feedback I received completely changed the way I saw myself and my purpose in this life. This project gifted me the opportunity to see how others view me. I highly recommend this to anyone because I found I do not see myself the way others do at all. In fact, the voice in my head has never allowed me to see myself in any real positive way. So the view I got of myself from others eyes, was eye opening to me. It helped me see that my life has already made an impact on others, doing what I have already been doing, through my music and the way I love has already contributed to positive change.
You see, I thought I needed school and a degree in front of my name before anyone would dare hear what I have to say. I have been telling myself for years that the “right” people aren’t going to bother to listen to me without the credits only earned from academia. Now I see that is not true. Another layer peeled back from the false narrative I have told about myself.
To say the least, as the summer carried on, countless moments were gifted to me where I got to encounter incredible, artistic humans, who have figured out a way to live life on their own terms. They have inspired radical change in me that has altered my path, bringing me back to music with full force as well as finally opening myself up to the writer in me. How I will express this writer-Jerrika has no clear path yet, besides this blog, but I have so much to share, and at last I don’t want rules or old thoughts about how things “should be done” to hold me back anymore. My path won’t be linear, or clean cut. It will be like a tree, with its roots always planted in sharing my life and the lessons I have learned thus far in hopes to offer any of you a path to your own liberation. The branches are the expressions in which I try to reach you, which will shoot off in varied directions. At times it will be this blog, there will always be my songs that are forever out in the stratosphere, plus more that I will continue to write. The branches will also be a podcast on many different topics because I care about many different things…namely art. I love Art. I love expression. And I love when people are brave enough to express themselves. I want to uplift art, art that has impacted me, as well as uplift my own voice. Hopefully, another branch will be in the form of a film as I have always seen this as a part of my path.
The biggest difference from a year ago when I was just starting school, is I no longer seek the permission of an outside force; of an academic degree, or a person who is considered a master of anything to give me permission to live the life I have always dreamed. Quitting school was me giving myself the permission to finally allow my tree to grow to its fullest capacity while ever evolving and changing. Ignoring the self-doubt and my own made up rule book that only proved to hold me back, I have chosen to live the life of an artist because that is where I feel the most free. I have no idea if I will ever be financially secure, but I am no longer allowing that worry to dictate my life’s choices. I have now replaced that negative energy with trusting the universe and my favorite philosopher, Krishnamurti who says, “when you choose life, life chooses you.” I am choosing life. And I trust the universe will have my back because the universe knows I have it’s back too.
Stayed tuned for a couple new songs that I have recorded, and I have written a bunch more. The muse returned to me the moment I decided to quit school! Nothing could have been a stronger affirmation that quitting school was the right move for me! That said, I plan on immersing myself in the beautiful Twin Cities music scene so if you know any great musicians here I can connect with, or any venues you would like to see me play please let me know! I am booking shows now!!
Upcoming Shows!
Sept. 19 | Get Out the Vote Musical Extravaganza | Menomonie Market Food Coop Eau Claire | Register to attend here!
Nov. 9 | Pablo Center - Eau Claire, WI | Opening for Ana Egge | Full Band show! | Tickets available here!
Please let me know where you want to see me play! I’m back!!!!!